In any relationship, it is important to be fully honest with our Life Partner. But what we do? We often hold back from being loyal and honest. Why is it so? It may be because we are afraid that we will hurt their feelings, or perhaps we think that they will feel like we’re criticizing them or we are fearful of their reaction. Because of this fear, we may also hold on to anger or resentment toward them until it spills over to spoil our fun or warps our everyday interactions.
There are certain things in a relationship that sap your love. It might be small things that add up or bigger disappointments over time.
Let us take an example, you’re at a small dinner party with friends, and your partner makes fun of you sarcastically about something you shared in confidence. At the moment, you smile and laugh along with the group, but deep inside you feel hurt and humiliated. And then you don’t know how to bring it up without sounding like a spoilsport, so you swallow it and tell yourself, “It’s not a big deal.”
But again something happens. Your partner commits to date night at six at your favorite restaurant, but then show up at seven-thirty. As a result, you miss your reservations and end up eating a late dinner at home. Although you feel hurt and disrespected, you pretend everything is okay.
Do any of these situations sound familiar?
What happens when you show dishonesty and withhold your feelings from your partner?
When either you or your partner don’t open up and talk about difficult topics with each partner, you will never learn to build strong bridges of understanding. You may want to be honest, but you struggle to find the “right time” in your busy schedules or you mot have “perfect” words. So you prefer not to say anything at all. You postpone important conversations to maintain the peace.
So how can you shift negative emotions to positive ones?
Develop an Acceptance Mindset
It becomes important to have an acceptance mindset whenever you are engaging in a difficult conversation. You need to unconditionally accept your partner in their humanness.) This acceptance doesn’t mean that you look the other way, though. You need to hold your partner accountable for being their best self and advocate for what’s best for your relationship.
An acceptance mindset will help you to create more intimacy and closeness in your relationship. An acceptance mindset will allow you to make love with your words. When you speak your truth, even when it’s hard, this will show your partner that you are willing to be uncomfortable and do what it takes to save your relationship and make it healthier and stronger than before. When you tell your partner what is needed to make your bond strong and deepen your connection, the love between you and your partner grows.
Some steps to handle a difficult conversation with your partner
You can easily handle any difficult conversation between you and your partner by following the steps below.
STEP 1: Whenever you are upset or not feeling good, try to shift your feelings and think about the things you love the most about your partner.
STEP 2: Always ask yourself, “Why am I having this conversation?”
These signs indicate that you’re ready to have a difficult conversation:
- You know pretty well what you need and want.
- The only think you want is to create more closeness and love.
- The conversation that you will have will result in understanding.
- You are willing to do whatever is important for repair and resolution.
STEP 3 – Before approaching your partner, make sure that you ask them if it is a good time to talk. If it is a good time to talk, then it’s great. But If it’s not, ask them: “When would be a better time?” This can help you to have an optimal time for difficult conversation.
STEP 4 – Make your intention clear for making the relationship better. For example, you can say how important this relationship is for you. Even though it’s tough for you to talk about you feelings, you are willing to because you value your partner.
STEP 5 – Ensure that you begin the conversation by telling your partner your feelings in a nonjudgmental way.
STEP 6 - Give your partner a time and chance to respond. Listen to your partner’s response and allow them to process what you tell them.
STEP 7 - If both of you are willing, discuss possible solutions. It’s great to get relief with meaningful conversations. Yet, it’s also critical to prevent the same situation or behavior from happening in the future.
Practice well the above mentioned steps. This will help you create honest and clear communication.
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